To Love...

I preach love and kindness, a compassionate heart and willing hands.  My mouth and pen declares a character I find my hands often do not commend.  Everyday I am faced with the realities of sin, I see how people tear each other down, seeking their own well being.  I open my eyes to depravity and a lust for what this world has labeled life.  An empty smile, a self-seeking gesture, ulterior motives, a bitter stance, a jealous heart, a condescending glance.  Although I am mortified and ashamed of what I see the christian faith portray, I am even more distressed that everyday I am met with my reflection.  I attempt to justify my harsh words and loose tongue with the wrongs of those whose names are on my lips.  Often I am angered by selfishness of another, and realize by doing so I am no better.  It is in the moments when I find others in need, that my heart can turn suddenly hard, angered at times, that my will has not been heed.  It is also in those same moments that I hear the faint whisper, "love is patient, it is kind..."  or when I feel justice has not been done, and anger grows, the gentle voice persists, "it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrong..." Daily I struggle to live as I have claimed.  Daily I struggle to follow my convictions.  But though I fail, God prevails.  Despite my futility, God works His will.  His power is beyond my humanity.  So I will not rest upon my own strength or manner.  But instead daily I will trust the Spirit working in me, daily I will submit to my Heavenly Father who is changing me.  I cannot truly love as I am called, as Christ has loved, on my own.